By Angela Dunning
We can learn much from wise, supportive others; at times, we do need another person to physically treat, affirm, guide, comfort, or support us. After all, co-regulation and connection to other people are essential for our well-being from the moment of our conception.
But, there also comes a time when we need to discover and turn toward our own inner healer and give ourselves the support, wisdom, and healing we need. Like the master of the healing arts himself, Chiron, we need to take ourselves off to our own metaphorical cave at times and turn inwards to explore previously untapped resources, medicine, and potential. To meet with our own inner healer and put together all we have previously learned so we can now harness our own healing capacities to help ourselves.
As Jung suggests, we need to awaken to our own unique inner well of resources, many of which lie dormant and in our unconscious yet quietly awaiting our arrival and activation. And in so doing, we access hitherto unknown reserves of personal power, all of which is empowering and confidence-giving. We learn to trust in ourselves and our capabilities more, and crucially, we stop always searching for help “out there” through projecting our healing potential onto others.
“Every time we reclaim some of our own energies, stop projecting onto others attributes of ourselves, we become more whole, more present.” ~Jill Mellick.1
We also discover something vital during this process: We are not as helpless as our wounded, and traumatized selves have come to fully believe. We come to find that there is another part of ourselves that isn’t still traumatized but in fact, is immensely resourceful and powerful. This is our own inner Wise Woman or Man, our own inner Healer.
If we have doubted ourselves all our lives, then meeting with this inner other can be very healing in itself. Often, this part of us shows up in dreams as an older man or woman as someone who radiates healing powers and who supports us in some way or even performs healing practices on us. And we can be sure that our dreams ARE showing us a part of ourselves here; this is a part of us that we need to get to know better and reclaim their energies and potential for our own lives.
Of course, this isn’t an either-or, as, at times, we will still need to seek the support and guidance of others, as I said at the beginning. Yet, to also begin to take this step and discover your own healing potential is hugely important as it returns much-needed personal power and a firmer sense of self, bringing us closer and closer to wholeness rather than being fragmented with scattered parts which are always at odds with one another. The more whole we feel, the less we project outwards onto others and the more of our own power we retain and use for both ourselves and in service of life.
So, I encourage you to trust yourself and your inner wisdom and intuition that you DO know what it is you need and to have increased faith in your capabilities. Find the courage to look within and to stop running from yourself. Turn and face what is calling you via your symptoms, bodily sensations, feelings, ideas, and dreams. You are far more powerful than you think. It’s always a matter of trusting and believing in yourself and of digging deep to bring to life all that you hold inside as potential to support and heal yourself.
- Quote by Jill Mellick from the book she co-authored with Marion Woodman, ‘Coming Home to Myself.
