Taking the Shame Out of Emotions
By Sibyl Badugu, Founder and CEO of Zen Health Technologies
I remember when I first started to become aware of my emotions. When someone would ask “how are you?”, my reply would either be “I’m good!” or “I’m not so good”. I wasn’t aware that there were alternatives to these replies based on the variety of emotions that I may be feeling. It took me a while to be able to identify which feeling I was experiencing at any given moment, and even longer for me to understand that I could be feeling more than one emotion at a time. Identifying my emotions was not something anyone had ever explained or tried to teach me. But I have learned that when we take the time to understand our own emotions and patterns, we can be in control of those feelings rather than having them control us.
I’m sure we have all been told at one point or another to “stop being so emotional”. Whether at work or in our personal lives, we are expected to maintain a certain level of “control” over how we are feeling. However, there is a major problem with that thought process. How are we supposed to “control” our emotions if we are not able to actively identify them? Emotions rule all of our decisions. Everything from what we choose to buy to who we interact with are decisions that are made based on how we are feeling. These emotions are always changing and have varying intensities that can make it difficult to understand them or look at them objectively. But every emotion is valuable because it contributes to how we make decisions, so being able to identify them is crucial. Which is exactly why we created EverStrong.
EverStrong is an app designed to strengthen your emotions through emotional fitness tasks, in just 30 seconds. By combining clinical and philosophical approaches to emotional intelligence, EverStrong develops and strengthens your mind to improve decision-making and problem-solving abilities. It is designed to take the shame and heaviness out of emotions and provide you with easy tasks to help you begin developing the skills that increase your emotional intelligence. By randomly providing quick, 30 second, light mental exercises you can slow down spinning minds and focus thinking for short periods of time throughout the day. Just being able to understand an emotion, like being overwhelmed, is enough to help us feel grounded. That understanding helps us to do something about that feeling, leading to improved mental health and stability.
EverStrong is an app designed to strengthen your emotions through emotional fitness tasks, in just 30 seconds. By combining clinical and philosophical approaches to emotional intelligence, EverStrong develops and strengthens your mind to improve decision-making and problem-solving abilities. It is designed to take the shame and heaviness out of emotions and provide you with easy tasks to help you begin developing the skills that increase your emotional intelligence. By randomly providing quick, 30 second, light mental exercises you can slow down spinning minds and focus thinking for short periods of time throughout the day. Just being able to understand an emotion, like being overwhelmed, is enough to help us feel grounded. That understanding helps us to do something about that feeling, leading to improved mental health and stability.
I started Zen Health Technologies to create technology applications that address the human experience. We are all so busy and caught up in day-to-day living that it can be difficult to take the time necessary for our mental health. However, since we typically have our smart phones with us, this seemed the best tool to continuously provide new mental exercises and quick reminders for keeping our minds in shape. Using a smartphone to continually stay aware and develop these skills is the key to developing new thinking habits. Recognizing one’s own emotions as well as the emotions of others and navigating them effectively takes awareness, skill, and repetition. When we begin to become aware of our emotions, we can start noticing how we make decisions. This is the first step in strengthening our emotions and developing emotional intelligence, which is 1“the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.” Emotional intelligence is the key to both personal and professional success.
For me setting aside time to pay attention to my emotions and doing quick mental exercises has given me the awareness and ability to take a step back and look at situations and conversations more objectively, both personally and professionally. In doing this regularly, Ihave created structure around my emotions and noticed patterns that I have missed in the past. For example, I have noticed that I tend to hold my breath when I’m focused in thought, which leads to tension in my neck and shoulders. Now that I am aware of this, I pay special attention to those areas when stretching or exercising to maintain my physical health.
Understanding your body’s natural language keeps you in control of your emotions, so when you feel something strongly you are able to work through those feelings, not against them. It also helps you to be more understanding of others who may be feeling strong emotions, making you better able to support them without getting sucked into any negativity and/or becoming reactive.
This time in our history is undoubtedly something that none of us could have prepared for. I know for me something as small as how I acknowledge people that I pass on the street is different from before the pandemic. For example, I used to make eye contact with people and smile. Now I don’t as I sense that people are a little more guarded and I don’t want to make them uncomfortable. As we emerge back into the world from being sheltered in place, we have a chance to evaluate how we approach existing situations in a new way – a way that is purposeful, thoughtful and expresses our true intentions. We can pay attention to our body, notice our emotions and how we express them.
Shifting mental energy can help concentrate thinking and start building awareness. There are many facets to mastering emotions such as building self-confidence, improving relationships, and staying focused. These are some of the long-term goals that our clinical team has curated by blending and presenting proven modern, clinical, and ancient techniques that are fun and easy-
to-do. Soon, Zen Health Technologies will focus on bringing EverStrong technology into the workplace. Anytime people are interacting with each other, emotional strength and intelligence skills are beneficial to everyone involved for peaceful co-existence, successful collaboration, and even a competitive advantage when morally and ethically well-intentioned.
My work has always included understanding what people struggle with and how to create products to help ease the struggle. I have designed and improved products for decades based on input from customers. In the case of EverStrong, we looked at the human tendency to get lost in our thoughts. Being able to feel gratitude and peace is a real struggle with our minds often getting in the way. I have found that strong emotions come out of having to reconcile what we know to be right and our ability to express it safely and gently in situations in our immediate environments. When we are not able to express ourselves calmly, our emotions get too intense and prevent others and ourselves from receiving the information. Often, we have to soften and/or focus our attention differently to feel what is right in our hearts. It is this discrepancy that causes our inner conflict and struggles, which constantly keep our minds busy and engaged in potentially unproductive or destructive patterns that keep us from spending time and effort in gratitude and abundance.
Keeping our attention, even in small amounts, towards being thankful for the things we take for granted allows more ease into our lives, leaving less time to focus on our inner struggles. As we get used to feeling more and more at ease, we make more room for an abundance of positive feelings. With frequent practice and repetition, this type of thinking can become a habit that you feel more comfortable with over time.
We say, “stay emotional.” Let your intuition and sensibility guide you in expressing yourself as you truly are while keeping other people’s intentions and sensibilities in mind. Your emotional strength and intelligence can guide all your relationships in a way that is right for you – including the relationship you have with yourself. We need to tend to ourselves most of all so that we can give our best selves to those we love and care for. The EverStrong app is simply – yet significantly – another way to embody this for ourselves and others.
