By Sasha Gary
I’m not sure when I first noticed my ego was out of control. Moving to Hollywood at a young age had a lot to do with it. The entertainment industry has a way of inflating your ego for no reason at all. I was surrounded by other young actors, tv stars, going to parties, and “competing” with other actors for parts. It is a cycle that you can become swept up in and can stay in as an adult.
I began to become aware of my ego more when it was brought to my attention in yoga class. I drove multiple days a week to Santa Monica for Brian Kest’s Power Yoga class on 5th street. If you have ever been in Brian’s class you know he talks about the ego and letting it go. That’s when I became self aware of how out of control my ego was. Have you experienced that moment? I battled with it for the longest time thinking I needed my ego because of the business I was in. I am forever grateful to my yoga practice on my mat and Brian’s guidance on the journey of healing my ego. You think it is confidence but really it’s just insecurity. The hard part is admitting to yourself that you have a big ego.
What is your ego? The ego is the psychological component of your personality. It is represented by our conscious decision making. Ego is the way a person wants to feel important. That is what I see in most in people today. But who doesn’t want to feel important, right? It’s a double edged sword. After many years of self growth and self awareness, tons of yoga sessions, and meditation I have been able to recognize my ego, let it go and I actually became more humble, more grateful, and well let’s face it, less of an asshole.
Lately, I have been hearing about the ego again in my favorite podcasts with speakers like Oprah and Marianne Williamson so it has been at the forefront of my mind. My ego still pops up but I recognize it now faster and I can embrace it, and let it go faster than before. You can do this too!
How did I do it? I became a student and learned from other people realizing that I do not know everything. I sat down and figured out what my three highest values in life are. It was not easy to do, as I began to cross off things I really value in life but I narrowed it down to 1. Love 2. Success 3. Travel. I aligned my life with working toward these values and people and situations that align with me.
I began to live a life in service of other people. I volunteer with a couple of amazing organizations. I teach kids about writing their own scripts and acting in them at the end of the year. There is nothing more humbling than going into a classroom after not booking an acting job, which is all about me, me, and more me. To sitting down with a child who has a vision of their story. It’s never really about you. I am just the facilitator of someone’s else’s dream.
Meditating will help you to become present in your life, which allows you to be conscious and aware. This will put your ego in check. Over time you will develop a sense of presence throughout your daily life, and when your ego pops up, which it will, you are more self aware of it and can choose to deflate it.
How can you serve others? I ask myself how can I be of service? When I walk onset I say how can I best serve this production. When I work with my team I ask myself how can I help them achieve their goals? My goals will be reached in the process. It’s all in how you look at things and stop making it about yourself all the time.
I even began to attract men with big egos, as it was a mirror image of myself, and I needed to learn a lesson. For the longest time I thought it was normal that I was attracting that guy. It made me take a closer look at myself and why was I attracting them. Once I recognized this pattern I chose not to attract that anymore. Then I began to attract men who were confident, spiritual and more depth. Once you decide this no longer serves you, it goes away.
Affirmations are a great way to deflate the ego. Instead of thinking that I am the best! Try I can do it! It’s a twist on being confident in yourself and letting go of, no one is better than me attitude. You can do it too! It just takes practice and self love. There is nothing sexier than a person who is confident, humble and self aware. Healing your ego will lead you to being the best version of yourself!
