By Kimberly Mueller, M.S.
A groundswell in awareness and consciousness is arising as women become more financially and emotionally independent. Women are often the primary wage earners, raising children, trying to stay fit, and all the while maintaining meaningful relationships. As women are trying to “do it all” like no generation before them, women’s self-worth has been too intricately tied to how they “measure up” on extrinsic markers of success.
SheWorth believes women need to turn the compass inward and understand that no matter how they are doing on the outside, or how they measure up to colleagues, friends, family members, or within their own harsh minds, they are WORTHY just for being alive and doing the best that they can. Unfortunately, the movement is not happening fast enough.
The SheWorth movement aspires to be a catalyst to help “speed up” the necessary increase in women’s feelings of worthiness. There are several important steps to get a woman there, and SheWorth is committed to helping each woman find their path.
What began as an observation in a Psychologist’s office became an idea between two girlfriends from very different backgrounds. Kimberly Mueller is a Psychologist who primarily works with women in their 20-50s and she observed a concerning trend amongst intelligent, beautiful, soulful, helpful, and successful women in her practice. She observed that many of the women were tolerating less than optimal treatment from their partners, friends, colleagues, and bosses. As this trend emerged, she began to notice peculiar similarities amongst most of the women, most of them had low self-worth and didn’t realize that they were worthy of NOT tolerating less than ideal treatment.
Lara Smith is a successful entrepreneur and dear friend of Kimberly who herself was struggling with her own moment of reckoning finding herself in a relationship with a man who was not respectful and loving or made her feel worthy. Lara, on the outside, “had it all” as a successful founder of a luxury pajama line called Lusomé, and yet on the inside, she tolerated this destructive treatment. As the two girlfriends continued to support each other as girlfriends do, they realized that this message needed to get out to all women.
As they quietly began to share their experiences with others, the stories began to emerge and they had common rings of truth amongst them…
“I struggle to say no.”
“I don’t have time for myself.”
“I feel anxious a lot of the time.”
“I feel empty and lacking in purpose.”
“My own beliefs about myself make me feel like a failure or not good enough.”
How could so many women who on the outside, appeared to be strong and powerful, be feeling this way? The SheWorth movement began and is gaining ground as women find their purpose and believe in their own self-worth.
An important distinction began to emerge between self-worth and self-esteem. Many think they are one in the same, but SheWorth defines them differently with the following distinction:
Self-Esteem- how we measure up to others. Self-esteem is the feeling we have about ourselves based on how we measure up to “extrinsic” factors such as job status, weight, relationship status, etc.
Self-Worth – how we feel about ourselves. Self-Worth is an inside job and is the belief that in spite of what we have on the outside, we are worthy just for being alive.
The SheWorth movement aspires to show women that they can stop using the measuring stick to see how they measure up to others and start to go inward and believe in themselves. When women begin to cultivate a loving relationship toward themselves…they become unstoppable.
The SheWorth platform utilizes science-based tools to help women become self-aware and ultimately improve or maintain their self-worth.
One of the most important tools they use is the Big-5 Personality Test. It is a cross-culturally valid and reliable personality test to help people understand where they score on 5 major personality traits based on the acronym OCEAN.
O-Openness to Experience
C- Conscientiousness
E-Extraversion vs. Introversion
A- Agreeableness vs. Disagreeableness
N- Neuroticism.
One of the most important traits that women need to know where they score on is the trait of Agreeableness. The definition of Agreeable (as opposed to disagreeable) can be distilled down to “people pleasing,” wanting everyone to get along, “easy-going,” not wanting to rock the boat, and generally, easy to get along with. While this trait is a wonderful trait and can be seen as a strength, it can also be a weakness. Women who have low self-worth tend to score high on Agreeableness and they do not consider themselves or their needs as important as others’ needs. Therefore, they “go along” so that people will like them and then they struggle with stress,
anxiety, depression, resentment, and despair.
Women who are highly agreeable need to be made aware of their score on this important personality dimension. Once they become aware, they can learn strategies and tools to not compromise themselves and feel more worthy of creating a boundary, saying no, doing self-care, or ultimately pursuing their dreams and purpose in life.
A SheWorth journal is a tool that SheWorth developed to help women improve their own self-awareness and self-worth over 30 days. It contains research-based information and 30 days of “prompts” to help women remember their self-worth and pursue their dreams and goals. Examples include remembering to tell yourself every night “I told myself I was worth today,” and information regarding neuroplasticity and mirror neurons.
Brain science can help women understand that it is possible to change and live in alignment with the person they know they are or aspire to be.
In addition to the SheWorth Journal, the SheWorth movement has an online community for women to take the Personality test, gather with others who desire to improve their self-worth, as well as LIVE SheWorth events throughout North America.
The LIVE SheWorth events include an evening of elevated experiences and meaningful discussions. The panel part of the evening is the highlight and a chance for women to take the time to hear from other women’s experiences of improved self-worth, consider themselves, and the direction they would like to go in life. As loneliness is an epidemic and an earlier predictor of death than smoking and obesity, SheWorth sees the need for women to feel ”not alone,” and seeks to cultivate this for anyone who comes across a journal, a live event, or the online community.
As you read the SheWorth mission statement, you are invited to consider the possibilities….
Fall in love with yourself; it will be the greatest love story of your life.
Imagine a world where every woman will know her value and not feel compromised in her relationships, her career, her community or her life.
Imagine a world where women get the big jobs…50% of the time.
Imagine a world where women founders of businesses get the capital to grow their business when they need it.
Imagine when women take time to travel, go to yoga class, and take a trip with their girlfriends…without feeling guilty.
Imagine a world where women don’t measure their worth in the number of likes on Instagram.
Imagine a world where all women feel safe, adored and respected in their intimate relationships.
It starts with us; we hold the power…we always have.
