Silvia Chiave
Consul General of Italy in Los Angeles
She is a force to be reckoned with – wife, mother, dedicated professional at the top of her game, passionate about theatre, literature, paragliding, horses, cooking, and staying fit through Pilates.
She advocates for women and women’s issues and recently co-produced the film One Of Us, which gives visibility to several Italian women of all sectors and depicts the underrepresented female face of today’s migrations.
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Silvia, where were you born, and in which city did you grow up?
I was born in Milano, but I grew up between Rome, France, Senegal, and Venezuela because my parents worked in the Foreign Service, and we would move every four years. So since childhood, I have enjoyed a pretty diverse environment, thus learning the very value of diversity. When I was so young, traveling the world also shaped me into an adaptable person, capable of rapidly adjusting to new conditions and thoroughly enjoying any new experience around the globe. As a “third culture kid,” I also developed a strong bond with my country, Italy, where I longed to go back, even for short periods, to find my roots and rediscover my personal and family history. And this is why, after attending a French school, I decided to go back to Italy for college and therefore spent the very last part of my teenage years in Milano. For me, now, home is the present, not a space concept but a time concept: the place I live in now. L.A. has been home since the first day I arrived.
What were some of your childhood passions and extracurricular activities you enjoyed doing?
As a kid, I loved horse riding. I had always wanted a pet to take along with me on my multiple travels, but my parents struggled to make me understand that a life like the one we led wasn’t suitable for pets. So one day, when I started horse riding in Caracas, they purchased a horse for me, my half-Arabic blooded Alfajarin. Whenever I had time, I’d go to the club – a military horse riding club – to cultivate this hobby. Paragliding has also always been a latent passion. I still remember watching people fly as a kid. Still, it was not before I turned 28, when I was already working as a diplomat in Rome, that I could eventually enroll in a course. That’s where I met my husband: he owned one of the first schools in Italy, and he taught me how to fly, but also the beauty of this wonderful activity that conciliates freedom, the power of silence, and the respect for the environment. I eventually got my license to carry people and became an assistant instructor at the school.
When did you know you wanted to pursue a diplomatic career, and what steps did you take to embark on this path?
The nomadic life is almost in my genes, and I must say it is quite addictive. While I was always in search of my Italian roots and developed a strong attachment to my present and the place I was living in, I also nurtured a profound curiosity about what the world has to offer and decided life was too short not to try and enjoy the most of it. My parents were also an important example and greatly encouraged my brother and me to follow our path – my brother is a designer – and pursue our objectives with determination, giving us the tools to find our way in life. In college, I studied economics, but with an international specialization, and after that, I took a Master in International Affairs to prepare for the Foreign Service exam. It is very aleatory, and there is a lot of competition, so one studies a lot and sometimes for years without having the certainty to succeed. I was very determined but also lucky. My first attempt was successful. My significant comparative advantage was that I knew four languages – Italian, French, English, and Spanish – and I could concentrate on the other subjects.
You have traveled extensively. Is there one place that stands out that has had a significant impact on you? And what has that place taught you about yourself?
This question is a difficult one! Likewise, when I’m asked where I’d like to be posted next, I don’t have a clue. I believe every country in the world is worth living in for a few years, and the bath in any culture is enriching. All the places I’ve lived are linked to a particular phase of my development, childhood, and adulthood. Therefore, they all impacted who I am today. I don’t remember much of Dakar, where I lived until I was 8, but I still carry those West African vibes and the sense of freedom that only a city where you spend a lot of time outdoors can give. Caracas, with its tropical atmosphere and colors, coincided with a teenage Silvia. In contrast, New Delhi, my first posting abroad by myself, gave me a sense of how profound and difficult it can be to understand such a millenary culture. The clean and tidy Luxembourg offered me the thrill of appreciating what the deep heart of continental Europe has to offer. Finally, I returned to the Mediterranean when I was assigned to Tunis, a country so close to Southern Italy which made me feel so at home and where my children spent the first months of their lives.
You are a mother to twins, a wife, and a dedicated professional at the top of your game! What can you share with other women about the rewards and challenges of being able to embrace all three? And what are you most proud of with regards to family?
I am very lucky because I have support all around. When people ask me how I can handle it all, I always reply that there are plenty of moms out there with a job, less fun than mine, no help, no partner, no nannies, and those moms should be an example! I have help at home and a very present family back in Europe, always keen to take a plane and travel here if their support is needed. Even though my job can be demanding, I try and keep myself grounded in the important things like being able to spend time with my little ones and my husband and also take time for myself to recharge in challenging times. What I’d say to other women is to try to share the burden and be supportive of others. Too often, we tend to keep it all on our shoulders until we break down. In sociology, the triple burden is mentioned – reproductive, productive, and community work – as the main factor that is a barrier to women’s empowerment. Sometimes, we perpetuate this narrative.
The thing I am most proud of is to see my children happy, accomplished, and blossom as individuals. And also to give them an example of a different family – where mom works and dad is at home with them. It’s easy because they are almost four, but still, I often think they have a beautiful childhood where we also try and make them understand they are privileged and fortunate. I am proud when they behave like they’ve understood this concept.
Recently, you co-produced a film, One Of Us, with director/producer Chiara Tilesi. Please tell us about this film. How did you become involved, and what would you like women to take away from it?
One Of Us has been a very important project for me, both work-wise and personally. It was born after I asked Chiara, a great woman, to be a protagonist of our International Women’s Day Celebrations, and she wanted to do something with me because we felt we shared the same views. Thus, we decided to work together behind the scenes to give visibility to several Italian women of all sectors and depict the underrepresented female face of today’s migrations. It is a world made of professionals in all sectors, including science, space, university, literature, business, venture capital, and entertainment and cinema. Also, we both felt there’s still a need to change the narrative around women, who often are depicted as objects instead of subjects, victims, and not actual protagonists in our societies. Therefore, another vision of women, besides that of always having to be young, perfect, beautiful, and professional mothers and caregivers, all at the same time, is possible! The project was a success in its first edition in 2021, so we did it again! Also, our Embassy in Washington DC adopted it, and in 2022 there was an East Coast and West Coast edition. The initiative also proved that women can work well together. The other producer, Debora Guetta, is also a wonderful lady, and so is the composer of the original music, Elena Maro.
What would you like to say to young women pursuing a diplomatic career?
I am part of DID, an Association of Italian female diplomats with gender parity in the Italian foreign service as its primary goal, through mutual support and exchange of ideas: the Association favors an inclusive culture in our Administration. Furthermore, it fosters the conciliation between the working and the private spheres.
In this framework, there is a program of mentorship where the more experienced of us who adhered to the program are coupled with younger ones to mentor and advise on how our world works, particularly women. Things change fast, and I have been working for 22 years now, so I am not sure my advice is still valid, but what’s for sure is that while being very rewarding, this is not an easy life, especially for families. All of us, especially women, need to find our way to conciliate everything.
The most challenging thing is finding a partner who will be keen to follow, and this is still very true for my female colleagues. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband playing the role of “spouse of” with grace and pride, but this hasn’t been without sacrifices from both sides. The good thing about our job, on the other hand, is that there are plenty of choices (first of all, we can decide to work for a limited time in almost the entire world) and we can, as I did, make choices that are functional to our private lives and needs. Bottom line: yes, it is not easy. Yes, you’ll have to make sacrifices and be very careful on how to handle it all with your family and the children if you have children, but also, this career can and will allow you to manage and make the right choices – those that work for you.
What has been one of your most rewarding professional accomplishments?
It is difficult to say, but looking back, being able to help people that want to feel the Italian Institutions close to them has been immensely rewarding. I like the Consular job for this reason and for the capacity to problem-solve that will directly impact the lives of our nationals abroad. In the most recent past, the pandemic was a great exercise of leadership because we needed to reorganize as things outside changed rapidly, at a fast pace. To help nationals find their way in moments of great uncertainty and give updated information with continuously changing rules and laws. In this regard, I am very proud of my staff, which was always on the front lines and continued to do its best to offer the most services possible to our nationals. It was also good to see how the crisis affected uniting the community around the Consulate. And to have received gratitude and appreciation for the work we did, 24 hours a day, and help them all despite all difficulties.
Please share a treasured memory of your time in Los Angeles that you will cherish for a long time? And what does L.A. have to offer that no other place you’ve been to has?
During my time posted here in L.A., I got into the habit of printing books of pictures of special events and my daily life because there are so many memories to treasure and keep for the future, and all are special. From a personal point of view, it is the city where my children, who came here at the age of four months, actually spent their whole life to date. As far as my job is concerned, L.A. is a unique place and a distinctive posting, everything happens or has happened around here, and it is much more than many think. The entertainment business is only one of the characteristics of this remarkable place: it surprised me, as it surprises many, to find out how much else there is in sectors like aerospace, finance, startups, hi-tech, research, university, and how many opportunities Italian companies and individuals can find in L.A. It’s very challenging and inspiring at the same time to be able to go in a mere 24 hours from an inauguration with a speech at the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures to a meeting with a Jet Propulsion Laboratory – this is extraordinary! I’ll forever cherish the opportunities this variety of fields and activities has given me – the possibility to observe this ecosystem where all seems integrated. The 2020 Golden Globes and the 2022 Academy Awards were among other memorable moments. They were once-in-a-lifetime experiences for a person like me, who is not part of the entertainment business unless I’m nominated sometime in the future! Living in Los Angeles is like living in a movie.
What do you do to stay mentally focused and physically healthy?
There is a Latin saying: “mens sana in corpore sano”, and what better place than Los Angeles to put this motto into practice? I am a pilates addict, and before the pandemic, I used to go to a gym that eventually closed for good. During all that time, I did practice Pilates at home. To be able to do this, I even purchased a reformer machine. I also walk whenever I can. Listen to podcasts or audiobooks – time to read for pleasure is never enough – and I enjoy hiking with my little ones. I walk to the office and back– my commute is very short, but that allows me to walk half an hour every day. As soon as the sun comes out, we like spending time on the beach, which also recharges me. Finally, finding a way to take some time for myself or my family, even if we don’t do anything special but simply enjoy being together. That makes me feel good.
If you could perform in a Hollywood movie or Broadway show from the past or present, which show/role would you choose and why?
One of my passions is theatre. In all my other postings, I could dedicate some time to acting. But, paradoxically, in L.A., the professionalism is so high in this field I had to abandon the idea of acting for fun and performing in theaters with non-professionals, as I had done in Tunis or Rome. I’m very dramatic, and tragic roles have always suited me best. Making people laugh is a quality I’ve never had. Everybody takes me so seriously. I am fond of movies in costume, so I’d say I would like to play the role of Glenn Close in Dangerous Liaisons or the one of Vivien Leigh in Gone With The Wind. Roles that show how it looked to be a strong woman at a time when female power was mainly behind the curtains and how powerful women were even in times when it was difficult for them to emerge and be independent.
Is there a charity or cause dear to you, and why?
My parents transmitted a strong sense of justice and the importance of equality to me. This is why I tend to stand with the weaker and become passionate about causes that involve minorities. I was raised with the principle that democracy is not mainly expressed through the will of majorities but by the respect of minorities. In this framework, since I believe women are a minority in the world I incidentally belong to, the achievement of gender parity, especially in male-dominated fields like the one I work in, is a cause I feel critical. I’ve had brilliant examples in all my career – the latest being our Italian Ambassador in Washington, Mariangela Zappia, the first woman ever nominated to this post, one that leads by example. I want to pass on their teachings to younger generations. I also feel particularly close to LGBTQ+ causes, especially knowing there are places where their rights are ignored when not violated. I try and do my best to help LGBTQ+ individuals and families. Also, I am involved with charities like Action Aid, which I support by sponsoring children in Africa. I was a child when we lived in Dakar and had the chance to see and touch with my own hands the less fortunate.
Tell us about a perfect meal you like to prepare.
I love to bake and prepare everything at home from scratch. So I make my bread, pizza, pasta, cookies, cakes, yogurt, and the typical Italian holiday sweets like Panettone, Pandoro, and Colomba, which are a genuine headache to prepare and require a lot of attention to detail and technical capacities. In our front yard, we cultivate pumpkin plants to have the flowers – fiori di zucca – I fry with a stuffing of mozzarella and anchovies, which is the original Roman recipe. By the way, I also prepare mozzarella at home! The only issue is that I don’t dare to offer it to guests because it’s made with raw milk. So my perfect meal is the one where all is homemade, and every ingredient is known. Of course, I don’t have much time for all of this, but it’s so relaxing that I find time at night or on weekends.
Outside of work, what are some hobbies you enjoy doing with your children?
My children are not quite four years old, so some of my hobbies – like paragliding or snowboarding – are not yet suitable for them, but others like cooking, traveling, reading, or hiking are! I take my kids everywhere. Before the pandemic, when I visited the other States – Nevada, Arizona, and New Mexico – I always traveled with my family and stayed in the place for the weekend. While I was working on the weekdays, they would hang around and visit, while on the weekend, we could be tourists together. They’ve been to Santa Fe,
Albuquerque, Las Vegas, Ojai, and San Diego, although they were too young to remember. In the summer of 2020, we didn’t dare take a plane or go to hotels for vacations. Instead, we rented an R.V. and drove up to Oregon and back for a ride of over 3000 miles. The children were only two years old, and they won’t remember, but I hope they’ll keep that sense of freedom and joy that only being on the road can give. We also walk a lot together, so much so that to celebrate our National Day, this year on the 5th of June, we organized a FUN RUN with a street festival for families open to all ages with a lot of prizes to win! Check it out at www.italyrun.org.
Daily, we cook: we make bread, pasta, gnocchi, and cookies. Like all children, they love manual activities. They follow me, but I am happy that they can now recognize different kinds of dough. I also hope I can impart my love for reading. We read together at least once every day, and they always ask for new books.
Do you have some parting words for our readers?
I will miss you, L.A.! A lot. I am excited to see where my life and career will take me next, but I will always have a special place in my heart for this extraordinary place that has given me so much.
Special thanks to:
Silvia Chiave
Enrica Dente degli Scrovegni
Alessandra Tarissi De Jacobis & Giorgio Guerra
(Entertainment Attorney in Italy and California)
JSquared Photography @j2pix
Lisa Joy @lisajoymakeup
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