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SUBJECTIVE REALITY

By Darren Timms
The image of the world around us, which we carry in our heads, is just a model.

We have all heard the words ‘Well, that’s their opinion’ to describe how someone makes sense of the world they live in.

But what does that really mean? Have you ever contemplated how you arrive at your outcomes?

How you think and why… your personal beliefs and ideology… the relationships you attract… the jobs you have or lean towards… what you eat and what you drink… your health, financial success or failure, and everything in between.

Would you agree that what you do or don’t do distinguishes your outcomes? What you failed to start when you said you would…

What you promised yourself and others yet were unable to deliver… what you did start and complete, and all scenarios in between.

You can point the finger at external conditions and hold any number of people responsible for your outcomes, but those are false accusations; your results are directly correlated to the actions you did or did not perform.

So, if actions are responsible for outcomes, what inspires the actions? It’s your emotions and mental state that determines what you do and how you do it.

Everybody knows how it feels to be in a flow state… when life meets your every step but never stands on your toes… when you walk around with a smile on your face, a spring in your step, and get stuff done effortlessly.

You also know how it feels not being able to think straight or get things done… angry, agitated, distressed, disturbed. We have all been there, but for some, it’s their default; it’s the emotional home.

What types of results would you assume those who operate from the default of procrastination and distress achieve versus those who spend the majority of their time in flow?

If we are speaking in terms of majorities, which we must do when making an assessment, the answer will be obvious.

There are exceptions, yes, but those aside, we can state with confidence that folk who live with a smile on their face, have uplifting energy, and live with high levels of integrity get better results than those on the other side of the equation.

Why is this? Well, you cannot access your highest intelligence or be at your resourceful best when angry, agitated, distressed and emotionally disturbed.

Why? When in these states, we activate the survival mechanism, known commonly as fight or flight. Now the body and mind is on high alert, preparing for battle or to flee as fast as possible.

All other functions are temporarily turned off, including the immune response and our digestion, as priority is given to the presenting threat to our existence! Whether or not the threat is real or perceived, our bodies respond as if the threat is genuine.

What if I told you that the majority of Human beings are operating in the world today with their fight or flight mechanism switched on. Especially now, with the pandemic of fear being perpetrated and shared with what is going on in the world.

Is it any wonder why depression and anxiety are at all-time highs? I don’t know about you, but I am very keen for my digestion, immune system, and my intelligence to be all switched on and working for, not against me.

Hence, the quality of your emotions will affect the quality of your actions and lead to either favorable or unfavorable outcomes.

So, suppose our efforts are driven by the emotional state we are in at any given time; what stimulates the emotions?

The answer is, your beliefs and childhood conditioning… or better expressed, the meaning you applied to every single experience, memory, event, and circumstance that life afforded you as a young child, namely between the ages of 0 and 6, when the commanding unconscious mind was being formed.

The unconscious mind drives up to 95% of your daily behavior via the robust psychological programs it created in childhood, and unless questioned and reworked, the behavior and the meaning-making process remains the same.

Sure, we are continually changing as we age. Still, the fundamental beliefs which were conditioned by our early childhood experiences are the drivers of all we do. (This is a complex topic, which I will cover in greater detail as we proceed.)

That, in a nutshell, is the filtering system that close to eight billion people use to make sense of the world, each using the above process to create a unique and subjective reality. That means we don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.

The external world is but a mirror of our internal reality.

Looking at the equation Beliefs => Emotions => Actions => Outcomesand applying common sense, we can conclude that to change the outcome; we must address the root cause, where the beliefs are stored.

Until we apply new meanings to our experiences, events, and circumstances, and to the triggers that initiate the repeated actions, then expect more of the same.

That isn’t rocket science; that’s plain common sense.

By changing our beliefs, our emotional responses change, which influence our actions and transform our results. It all making sense. Good. But it doesn’t stop there. Within the equation above sits a further filtering process that needs to be understood.

Massive amounts of information continually arouse our sensory organs and nervous systems. The numbers differ according to different sources, but the last time I checked, our nervous system and conscious awareness receive, via the five senses, about twenty million pieces of information per second that need processing.

Some believe it’s up to four billion chunks of information, so be it twenty million or four billion, the numbers are unfathomable.

The information is narrowed down further by generalizing, deleting and distorting anything that sits outside of my belief system or anything that represents a threat to my carefully constructed self-image until what remains is ‘MY REALITY’ – a reality which I believe in wholeheartedly and, unless I’m inspired to change it, will stay the same.

To attain this reality, I must distort and delete almost all the information until I end up with less than a hundred and thirty pieces of data from the twenty million per second that are available.

And this is all done instantaneously. Pretty impressive, wouldn’t you say? Well, let’s explore a little further and see how empowering or disempowering this is before we decide.

In laymen’s terms, this filtering system is designed to detect what’s familiar and to prove itself correct in any given situation. We become so convinced of our truth and what that truly means, our unique existence is as real as it gets.

In fact, we rarely question it, and unless challenged, an alternative version is rarely, if ever, contemplated.

This subjective and perceived truth creates repetitive feelings and is thus responsible for the quality of our lives.

We are unaware that we are not directly encountering the quality of our lives, but rather the quality of our meaning-making process through this filtering system.

Unless we disturb the cycle, we will continue to get what we have always got, meaning that our comfort zone will maintain the status quo, regardless of the outcome. To change one’s reality, the filtering system must be modified to see things differently and hence apply a different meaning to the information.

To do this, we must break the habit of being ourselves; otherwise, we will continue to seek out that which is familiar and therefore continually arrive at the same destination.

All well and good if the outcomes, dreams, and desires are fulfilling. However, it is not so good if the results fall short of what is needed to stack the odds in favor of a productive existence.

The good news is that each of us can experience ‘brain plasticity’, which means the brain’s ability to modify its connections or rewire itself. Each of us is capable and proficient, if we so desire, in the act of radical change and in the transformation of experiences that keep us stuck in life.

We were not born with belief systems that cause and maintain disturbance and suffering; they were created, and that which was created can be uncreated.

Similarly, that which was learned can be unlearnt.

If that type of world resonates and makes sense, and you would like to learn more, grab a beverage of choice, get comfortable and enjoy the ride as I attempt to bridge the gaps between human behavior, spirituality, and the world we live in.