By Lisa Estabrook
I can’t adequately express how hard it has been to write this moon cycle Deep Dive with Red Clover. The chaos that I am seeing and feeling all around in the external world is equally felt within me. I also know that the chaos showing up around me exists BECAUSE of the chaos within me.
And so here I am with a desperately unsettled feeling inside that things are spinning out of control. However, I know enough by now, i.e., been through this too many times before, to recognize that the idea of control is really an illusion, and well, this feeling of uncertainty is more of an invitation and an indication that it is time to change, to expand, to grow further.
The problem is, as always, that what that looks like is not clear.
Red Clover’s deliciously sweet blossoms are made up of many tiny, tubular dark pink (not red at all) flowers, literally whirling like a tiny tornado around a singular central base.
Looking closely at the flower reminds me of how easy it is to get pulled away from our center, our truth, by all human existence’s inherent chaos and confusion.
There is no “spin” in Nature, however. Just the simple truth is that growth and change are inevitable and constant. In fact, it is the very basis of the Universe.
It is always flowing, expanding, spiraling around to experience the next highest version of itself and the next bringing us right along with it. There is no separation.
The spinning feeling, the uncertainty, and chaos that we feel are born from the belief that, as humans, we can somehow control the flow of life itself. Direct it to our will if we adhere to the “right” spin, the “right” way to go about life.
Humans do not like uncertainty!
We like a plan—a nice comfortable, clear one.
And we go out of our way to avoid pain and discomfort of any sort. We are trying to fix what we perceive as external problems when in truth, our own resistance to change (to growth) is creating the problem in the first place!
Growth is always uncomfortable.
Red Clover reminds me that in order to find my truth, I first have to detach from everyone else’s.
You can not underestimate the power of your BREATH to create the spaciousness that is needed to experience your life from a higher perspective.
Honestly, you don’t have to look too hard or go too far these days to find yourself surrounded by a gazillion conflicting ideas, opinions, and expectations flying around—making even the most steady of us feel dizzy and off-
balance, especially when we allow all that energy and information to dominate our daily experience.
The more we engage, the more we attempt to control, fight, or even make sense of what is happening the more we get pulled into the chaos. Eventually, it becomes hard to differentiate what is our own experience and truth and what is someone else’s.
So Red Clover asks us to disengage from what may be happening around us with the power of our breath and spiral into our centers where we can become fully present with what is happening. She asks us to find our “centers of truth” and create from and flow from that place.
I take a closer look at Red Clover’s flower, and each little tubular petal feels like a potential “rabbit hole” to me—a fear-based attachment that can pull me away from my peaceful center if I allow it.
I remember to breathe.
And with every breath, I ask myself, where am I directing my energy?
Am I being unconsciously pulled in a direction I do not desire, or am I consciously choosing what I engage with?
This is perhaps the only thing we do have any control over—that is, HOW WE CHOOSE to respond to what is happening.
I remember to breathe. Again.
How I choose to respond requires an enormous amount of self-honesty because what it boils down to is whether my choices are rooted in fear or come from my center of truth, which is always LOVE.
When I am not flowing with my center of truth, I can feel it!
And then (and this is the hard part) I have to honor what I feel!
Our bodies are so, so wise. They let us know what is aligned and resonant and equally what is not right away. Only the problem is that our minds—filled with fear-based programming, judgments, labels, and ingrained beliefs—literally override the messages our bodies are trying to convey.
{FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real}
If we feel bad, we think something must be wrong, and usually, that leads to blaming an external source for our pain. We immediately move into judgment.
Red Clover gently supports us in remembering how to FEEL everything yet not attaching to each feeling. Simply witness, observe, and allow everything we feel about move through us. It’s not easy!
Ah yes, this thing is happening right now, and it doesn’t feel good, but in this next moment, or this one perhaps, we breathe back to center and move on through it all.
Flow. To be in flow means you can move through your life without judgment, knowing everything you experience is for your own highest good so that you can grow into the next highest version of yourself.
Evolution. And that is what we are going through, individually and collectively.
And all this feels hard to express! But what I do know clearly is that if we want to find PEACE, if we are going to grow as a society, as a human race, we will have to let go of control, find our centers and let our hearts lead the way.
Red clover asks us to find our center amidst the spin. Be in the world but not of the world and remember that peace—Sanctuary—is ALWAYS found within.
