By Jayita Bhattacharjee
There is a stigma, a hidden one that is undeniably involved with the release of emotions. The inescapable truth that hits us inside, the moment we feel that compelling urge to break free of what was killing us inside, what seemed to strangle our throats, what we grappled with in the very deeps. Somewhere between what we reveal and who we are authentically inside is exactly where we wrestle with the bottled emotions.
As we hear the all-time used “get over it”, the fact is we do not get over it until we get through it. Spilling the emotions doesn’t necessarily imply that it is a sign of feebleness. It doesn’t show a person’s frailty and fragility; rather, it is God’s truth that he/she is innately alive, being uncompromising. So, let him/her throb with life. As to feel life in every cell, in every fiber, is to feel the beat, the pulsating emotions as life come in so many seasons and colors. And so do the myriad episodes that may either traumatize or energize, that sketches the narrative of life.
Somewhere between who we are suppressed to be and who we desire to be, lies the deep-rooted need to emerge in the most raw, real, and vibrant manner, the one that nurtures our heart and reflects the soul. But why doesn’t this flamboyant society realize the need to just ‘let it be,’ as this is the only way we will ever dare to stroll along the trails of life. Whoever said we will find comfort in the dungeons of darkness, weeping in the lonesome corners? While growing up, many of us are not taught to feel and express fear, shame, guilt, apprehension as these are often quashed. This need for repression has been passing on through centuries as there is that unspoken stigma, that invisible shame, the falling out of grace involved with the release of feelings. As someone freaks out in extreme pain, society sees it as a shortcoming of that person, perceives it as lunacy. But it’s time, we realize that the journey from lunacy to lucidity begins as we feel to heal. And feelings do need to fly in the air, to let the heart have its beat in the fresh breeze.
Consequently, from a position of powerlessness, rises the power as he/she is given the dignified freedom to weep and weep out loud. The tears that fall drop by drop as the sadness clouds the eyes because there was that pain all along that burned inside, yet the society dictates it as a shame. Being under the pointed fingers of a dictatorial society, we coil inside, shrinking from an invisible pressure, that fear that chases us everywhere.
Emotions sustain a person’s desire to continue living as it is the feelings that add life to a lifeless person, living, walking, breathing with a pallid spirit. The inability to express results in a disability, and someone who has been walking around with a broken heart is sauntering in the woods of life, with a limp in the leg. What could have been managed in a constructive way then follows a destructive pattern and ultimately pushed the person towards his/her very end. The person gets ensnared in the net of self-rejection. He rejects himself, begins to loathe his very existence, and is caught up in a spiral of doubts. Before he gets to kill the trap, the trap almost kills him. And that becomes the saddest point of a person’s life, the God-gifted life, the precious one which is seeded with the light of love since the inception.
And if this essentiality is denied, then it inevitably kills the need to feel alive. Such is the truth behind the fact that most people are existing and not living. If the stigma is taken off and a person is free to indulge in the moments of fragility, allowed to reveal their unrevealed feelings, then in time, they will transform their frailty to courage. After all, feelings are what bring a transformation from the inside out. They hold the seeds of sacred alchemy. There is this invisible hold of emotions that summon us in fragility, but in the end, they sustain us by their strength. That’s when someone’s transformed and learns to live from the imagination and not the memories of hurt, or shame. As the contained emotions are not erased, rather, they somehow manage to smolder inside and eventually overpowers everything else. But with the unrestrained flow of them, he/she learns to fly, unbound and limitless, instead of looking back at the limiting past. With the azure sky overhead, the ground beneath, and seasons in the air, whoever said life is over?
Somebody pronounced an announcement, and someone dictated us to sigh in the solitary corners how to feel and kill them in the dark rooms shutting the sunlight of the day. As we did not learn to subdue them on our own, rather we have been taught to internalize them instead of externalizing our natural emotions. There is this fear that once those feelings gush out, especially of sadness, it will be overwhelming and pull us into a prolonged sadness.
To maintain a stiff upper lip is the dictation of society. To let them flow like a river flow has been labeled as disgraceful. Societal norms attempt to dampen this free flux. There is this traditional need, passed on from generations and generations, to maintain that shattered smile, no matter what lies behind that broken visage. But as per Dr. Jill Bolte, a neuroanatomist, the duration lasts for only 90 seconds for an emotion to be triggered and chemically processed through the body.
Any residual emotional response that remains is more of a thought pattern than our emotional pattern. With the release, we sense the echo of that fathomless vastness of life as we break free from society’s dicta. There is a deeper need to destigmatize the stigma associated with emotion, as any stifling or suppressing of feelings results in a gradual mental depression, and consciously or subconsciously, we slip into the downfall of life.
It becomes a subtle slip that happens stealthily, surreptitious is its crawl into our lives, and before even we know it, it has its rigid hold over us, and we grapple with the grip, sighing in the lonesome nights.
It comes with its pull on our mental health and gets manifested through a broad range of negative behaviors. The underlying reason is that we are in search of ways to numb the emotions rather than heal them in an authentic way. One might indulge in drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, shopping compulsion, and many other pathways that lead to a gradual debasement of the body and mind. That then becomes a path of descent, rather than of ascent, a way to ruination, as the repressed emotions vanquish the authenticity in us. The goodness in us is toppled as the truth of feelings is squashed by purposive suppression.
As per studies, there is a strong interconnection between emotions and physical sensations in the body. Emotions rule our behaviors and physiological states. We have different emotions during survival mode or pleasurable interactions, or salient moments. Different emotional states are associated intrinsically with distinct body sensations. These emotional experiences could underlie our physical sensations. These emotions- triggered bodily sensations get manifested as stress-related disorders and pounding headaches. As we connect with our emotions, we intentionally bring awareness and become conscious of the body’s physical sensations. By acknowledging those sensations, we become capable of harnessing and understanding those feelings and can prevent ourselves from going along
a downward path. This effort takes a conscious approach from us and can be attained through mindfulness.
Body scan practiced in mindfulness is an effective way to tune into presence, which lets us incline the mind into a sensory experience and the discoveries that come along the way. Through the body scan, we develop emotional awareness. By having a better perception
of the physical sensations as the emotions rise and fall, we can choose how to respond to them and not be reactive to them. We can be conscious of them by bringing an awareness of them, which eventually leads to a healing of the body and mind. Acknowledgment gives us an opportunity to sit with our own emotions, however uncomfortable they may be as we tap into the here and now, and gradually rationality settles down over irrationality. This then becomes a conscious choice, practiced through mindfulness. In the process, we learn to master to process those emotions in a healthy manner, which ultimately impacts our mental and physical health.
The body scan practice becomes very effective to release the stress and tension that unknowingly perches on our shoulders and eventually spreads to the entire body. Through a process of mental scanning, awareness seeps into every single area of the body, and we become observant of any ache, pain, tension, or general discomfort tightening our body. We get to know the pain and be familiar with it to learn how to better manage it, if not totally eliminate it.
One of the many primary benefits of this body scan meditation is stress reduction.
To be comfortable. Lying down is the most preferred method or sitting comfortably seems to be another option.
To inhale deeply, as taking deep breaths and starting it from the belly rather than from the chest lets the abdomen expand and contract with each and every breath.
Then slowly, we need to bring attention and awareness to our feet, and we can be observant of the sensations arising there. If we sense any pain, then we can acknowledge any emotions associated with it. Then we can gently breathe through it.
Next, we have to breathe into the tension. If and when we notice any uncomfortable sensations in the body, we can be attentive and breathe into them and take it from there. We can gradually visualize the tension leaving the body through the breath and evaporating into the air.
Next, we need to scan the entire body. We need to continue this same practice with each and every area of the body. So eventually, we move up through the feet to the top of the head. There is a difference in feeling when we are holding the stress and when we are letting it out. If there is any tightness, pain, or pressure, we need to breathe into the tightness and release the body’s tension.
We rise from insanity to sanity through acknowledging our emotions, from a frantic mind to a grounded being, with our feet on the ground and imagination sky high.
