By Malcolm Stern
Each of us has something inside us which is longing to be lived, our own unique treasure chest, a set of gifts, an image of our potential, a purpose. Something that makes us feel this is why I am here; this is what I am meant to be doing. It’s more than a simple desire; it’s woven into the essence of who we are.
Your purpose isn’t just about a great career in the world, though. “Softer” action, like nurturing, friendship, mothering, fathering, healing, caring and neighbourliness are all drivers of people’s purpose.
Purpose is fundamentally about the doing, not the result, and the willingness to go where it will with as much diligence as possible. If this book is never read by anyone else, while my ego would be sad, it still has value. These past couple of years, creating the idea for the book, going down a number of false alleys and eventually arriving at the depth of what has been longing to be expressed, I have felt passionately and purposefully alive.
It’s easy, in our technologically proficient society, to find a rhythm of seeming purpose, a day-to-day busyness which is meaningless. We may make a million pounds on a deal, and for a while, we are elated, but not long after, an emptiness appears that won’t be eased by making ten million pounds. Perhaps we fall for someone and feel that Eros has especially chosen us to bathe in the beauty of in-love-ness, but after some time, our dreams come crashing down in the face of the everyday pressures of life. We may find a job that has status and for a while rejoice in the admiration and applause, but if the job doesn’t give us the opportunity to dig deep and find that which is screaming to be born, to be lived, to be honored, eventually the glitter diminishes, and the malaise returns.
It doesn’t matter what your purpose is. What matters is that you live it. If you don’t, you suffer.
Exercise: Let your passion lead you to your purpose Write down three activities that give you the tingle of passion that seem exciting, stimulating, and life-affirming. Write some sentences explaining what each one brings you in terms of energy and fulfillment. Imagine yourself mastering each of those activities. How would your life look if they became part of your rhythm? How much(and I’m not just talking money here) would you be prepared to invest in making them a part of your persona? How much time, energy, and willingness do you have to release more pedestrian aspects of yourself? How can this be practical, given the need to pay the bills or to support your family?
Choose the activity that generates the most passion and power. Imagine yourself three years into the future. This purpose has rooted itself in you and is now an integral part of your life. What were the steps you had to take in order to initiate this? What were the obstacles you had to overcome in order to make it a mainstream activity?
What are the benefits for you and your community? What support did you need? What did you have to give up?
What pleasure or sense of achievement is this bringing you? How do you feel when you imagine this as part of your ethos?
Write down everything you see. Be as detailed as you can. Bring your vision to life, whether that be through drawing, writing, or making a vision board. List the actions your future self had to take to bring this vision into manifestation. Map out the next three years and jot down ten practical, concrete steps you can take to actualize your purpose.
Share your route map with a trusted other(s) who will give you honest and helpful reflection and who can work with you to refine the steps. Edit and revise as you see necessary.
Now you are ready, as Lau Tzu says, to begin “the journey of a thousand miles. It begins with one step.” Take that first step. The second and third will follow. Once you set out, the route adapts. It may be that other factors come into play, and you change your trajectory. For example, this book started as a conversation between four friends, which led to a book proposal for a different project and then, through honest feedback, reflection, gathering opinions, and a lot of hard but enjoyable work, it found its own shape, which was not envisaged at the beginning.
In the words of mountaineer William Hutchison Murray:
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to drawback. … Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”
