Self-Care Life Coaching
Here we are in April, quickly approaching May, which has been observed as Mental Health Awareness Month in the U.S. since 1949. I thought it would be appropriate to get an early start on this very critical topic, especially after the mental health challenges brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic. This month, I’d like to introduce the reader to the benefits of life coaching, an industry that has been growing rapidly in the last decade and may offer people an interesting alternative to more traditional forms of mental health counseling.
When considering whether to seek out a life coach or a therapist, it is important to understand the difference between these two approaches. A mental health therapist is a licensed professional providing psychotherapy services, and while a life coach is not a licensed healthcare professional, they may have educational backgrounds in psychology, counseling, leadership training, and related areas. States do not require coaches to be licensed or certified, but many do choose to seek voluntary certification on their own from organizations that have established credentials and evidence-based standards of practice. It is also important to note that therapists, unlike coaches, can diagnose mental health conditions and have the skill set to deal with disorders such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, etc. Therapists employ mental health strategies such as CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), EMDR, brain spotting, and IFS (internal family systems), to name a few. The latest interventions in the treatment of trauma also include working with embodied/somatic practices that help to locate where the body is storing traumatic memory and then applying body-centered practices that help to liberate the trauma. Most of this novel trauma work has been influenced by pioneers in the field of the body’s role in trauma, such as Bessel Van der Kolk, Janina Fisher, Tara Brach, and Peter Levine., among others. This work has also increasingly integrated mindfulness practices, such as meditation and yoga.
Aside from licensing issues, the objectives of a life coach and a therapist are also different. In general, therapists work with clients on unpacking the past and understanding how their past experiences influence their current behaviors and emotional states. Unpacking the ways in which the past is driving the present generally requires a long-term relationship with a therapist. In contrast, life coaches do not encourage clients to explore the past.
Coaching is future-oriented in that clients are encouraged to figure out what they can do in the present to help them reach their goals.
“According to ICF (International Coaching Federation) statistics, “Life coaching is one of the fastest-growing industries in the U.S., with more than 26,000 professional coaches working in North America in 2020.”In the U.S. alone, the life coaching industry is forecasted to bring in US$ 2.1bn in revenue by 2023, with a growth rate of 4.85 2023-2030. According to ICF, “the need for coaches is on the rise in the United States as more people seek guidance and inspiration on a variety of topics, including personal development, finding a work-life balance, work performance, relationships, mental health, and other topics” (grandviewresearch.com).
In my opinion, and as a life coach myself, the rigid boundaries between coaching and therapy are probably more fluid in actual practice. Depending on the experience level of the coach, coaching interventions can have a deep therapeutic effect. Problems related to anxiety, depression, loss of motivation, personal and professional identity, mid-life conflicts, and other existential life issues often find resolution with a coaching approach. Coaches tend to focus on specific areas of expertise and are motivated to have their clients move forward relatively quickly. Many coaches stay within a 6-12 coaching session model and may refer the client to therapy if he/she is unable to make reasonable progress within that period. I personally offer a 5-session package, which seems to work exceptionally well for most people who are experiencing the usual issues that life throws at us but are not dealing with significant trauma or mental health conditions
According to London-based coach Nick Hatter, there are other reasons why people seek out his services versus psychotherapy. One example he gives is that a coach is not as rigid as a therapist when it comes to sharing their own experiences and life stories. While this needs to be done very strategically, it can help a client feel a sense of “oh, I’m not alone in this dilemma,” and it can strengthen the bonds of mentoring and sharing of life lessons between coach and client. This has a different flavor than the more “regulated” or “formal” patient-clinician relationship. Another aspect of coaching that Hatter mentions, and which I relate to in my own experience, is that coaches can be more challenging with their clients. While empathy and listening are essential for coaches, I also take advantage of opportunities to challenge or stretch my clients beyond their comfort zones. A coach must evaluate whether the client has the ego strength and the curiosity for those “mental and existential workouts,” but I normally find that once a client gets through a couple of these “stints,” they will request going to the edges in future sessions. Both coaches and therapists must learn to dance with the uniqueness of each person, which brings challenge and beauty into the process of “being with another” in the spirit of service.
Another reason why people may be increasingly drawn to coaching is that there are a variety of specializations available, with coaches whose life experiences and passions vibe with theirs. Areas of focus in coaching include entrepreneurship, mindfulness/ spirituality, weight management, mid-life transitions, professional/leadership development, and writing/artistic expression, among others. Within these areas of expertise, which usually come from the coach’s professional and educational background, there are also specific coaching approaches or models. All coaching is generally designed around helping clients develop self-development skills that can assist in conquering obstacles that have gotten in the way of achieving goals. There are assessment tools that can be quite useful in coaching, such as personality tests like the MBTI and Enneagram, that can shed light on our personality structure and how we’re psychologically wired -I call it our preferences for how we show up in the world.
And just like in the field of psychotherapy, there are coaching schools based on depth psychology and transpersonal psychology. These coaching interventions are framed around the exploration of the unconscious mind and the spiritual and transcendental aspects of the human experience. For example, I’m a Jungian-trained coach, meaning that I help clients explore solutions by emphasizing the process of individuation. Individuation is the process of becoming whole, integrating hidden aspects of self (our shadow aspects) into conscious awareness and thus embracing the whole individual. For this to happen, we must learn the important skill of holding the tension between opposite aspects of ourselves and not choosing the “good” over the “bad” in us but integrating the dark and the light as a normal part of the human experience. This integration requires a good dose of self-compassion and self-love, which can only be offered to others when we have cultivated it in ourselves. The exploration of the unconscious mind and the work of integrating our fragmented selves into a co-existing whole, without judgment or shame, is deep and rewarding inner work. This exploration of the psyche, this “coming home to the self,” can help in the resolution of issues related to depression, anxiety, and loss of identity, especially when they present as part of a mid-life crisis. According to Jung, the mid-life crisis is inevitable for most of us -it is the soul waking up and nudging us to honor those things that bring purpose and meaning to our lives. The mid-life conundrum is the soul’s calling to wake up to the totality of being -the good, the bad, and the ugly- which allows us to show up for ourselves and for others authentically, in our original blueprint as it was meant to be from the day we took our first breath.
Regardless of what form of mental self-care we choose, it is important to find a therapist, a coach, or a mentor who understands the human need to be heard and to be seen. The stigma around mental health is slowly lifting, and awareness of this issue is louder than ever after the COVID crisis, a time of isolation, fear, and uncertainty when the rug was pulled from under our collective humanity. We will all need help from time to time in this difficult and beautiful human journey, and the road is easier when we can hold our heads high as we reach out to a helping hand.
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