By Tara-jenelle Walsch
It’s the crooked nose, the chipped tooth, the snort-laugh. Natural clumsiness, bloopers, blunders, and voice cracking. These are the things real life is made of. The things we can all identify with and naturally leave us feeling connected to one another. The things that give each and every one of us a unique personality that is adored.
Social norms have taught us to view them as imperfections. Things that need to be corrected in order to be accepted and approved of by others.
Newsflash: There’s no such thing as “Perfect.” It’s one of humanity’s many fabricated illusions, as can be legitimized by the common fact that everyone’s definition of perfection is different.
Yes, we have universal standards and ideals, but everyone approaches those through their own filter, which was created from their personal experiences. With no way to single-handedly achieve something so vastly defined, the word itself is rendered a myth.
And here’s where things get good: Since there’s no such thing as “perfect,” that means there’s no such thing as “imperfect.” Things are simply different from one another. This way or that way. But for the sake of this article, I’m going to identify the things that we wish were better about ourselves as imperfections.
The other day as I accidentally knocked over a display at Starbucks it dawned on me that being “imperfect” is socially acceptable. It’s a likable thing. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that it’s even preferred most of the time.
So called imperfections are socially acceptable because we all see ourselves in them. When others trip, fumble, or fall out of the lines in any way, it reminds us that we’re ok. It creates a sense of humanness in the space that everyone can identify with.
Imperfection authenticates us. It demonstrates that we aren’t editing and controlling our every move, but rather being our genuine selves.
So, no need to hide your mishaps or slip-ups. Quite the contrary, “this is what makes you human and unique, which leaves people feeling connected with you.
Have fun with them when they appear. Delight in them when noticed. Laugh at them. Use them as an opportunity to charm others through humor as they arise. This makes you more relatable, which, in turn, makes you more
approachable.
The key element here, of course, is for us to identify this as an opportunity as it happens. There’s no need to be embarrassed, but rather embrace the circumstance. This creates space for compassion, both from yourself and others. Which is why, by the way, I had everyone laughing at Starbucks, helping me fix the display.
This is not to say that we should throw in the towel on trying our very best in life.
Nope. Strive on, create goals and aim for excellence. All the while, know that you are good enough just as you are. Try and resist the inclination to hold yourself up to illusionary standards that are sometimes impossible to achieve.
When we hold ourselves to standards of “perfection” it only holds us back from truly connecting with ourselves and others. Whether our thoughts are constantly berating us for not doing better or excessively egging us on to be better, our mind is calculating our actions throughout the day and ultimately dictating how to live.
We’re busy thinking about the best way to be, do, look, have, act, create instead of just organically allowing our best to flow out.
This commonly spills into our relationships and creates expectations of others. By holding our selves up to such high standards, we subconsciously start holding others up to those same standards instead of just appreciating and accepting them for who they are. We begin to unknowingly project our rules onto them. conversely, when we begin to embrace our imperfections and applaud our efforts, we suddenly begin to applaud and acknowledge others. With this level of compassion and unconditional love for ourselves, we can’t help but want to share it in return.
Our heart is filled with the freedom of creating and being what ever we are in the moment without the punishment of scolding thoughts. This kind of freedom skips and sings and wants to play with everyone. It wants to share its secret with other hearts and encourage them to unlock their door, as well.
The truth is that “our best” is with us all the time. It’s not something we have to achieve. It’s actually bursting to come out, but half of the time we’re so busy conducting rules in our head restrains our excellence.
Yet, the moment that we let go of those rules about “less-thans” and “could be betters” and the crazy idea that we have to show up perfectly—that is the moment that we’ll find our best, shining effortlessly. For in the end, we’re all
perfectly, imperfect.
RoadMap to Imperfect is the new Perfect
1- There’s no such thing as “perfect” or “imperfect,” just different.
2- We see ourselves in the so called imperfections of others.
3- This relatability authenticates each of us, creating connection.
4- Embrace your imperfections & watch as it spills into
you embracing those of others.
5- Feel the freedom in your heart.
