By Tara-jenelle Walsch
Hi, excuse me…I think I’m lost. Can you give me directions back to myself?
You may chuckle, but the question is actually not that absurd. I’ve probably asked both of my parents that in some form or another with all sincerity. Changes happen in mid-life and our senior years that have left many people asking themselves the life-probing inquiry: Is this it?
We angle our heart just so to hear an answer, but no dice. The question itself actually makes us question life in such a way that we may oddly feel we’ve lost ourselves.
Others feed us needlepoint wisdom that was passed down to them as if it’s an actual solution. But we’re no longer five years old; wide-eyed and curiously absorbing poetic there-there’s, ricocheted from generations.
This time it does no good. Our gullible sponge is dry. We need answers. So much so, that at times, it feels as though our life depends on it.
Short of there being a universal Lost & Found center to retrieve our reason for being, we’re left to figure it out on our own. Our thoughts search for who we used to be and ponder who we will become, but the present us is sometimes left confused.
If you’ve ever felt a sense of being internally lost, you may appreciate knowing that most of the emotion is brought on by having something that you’ve long self-identified with, change in some way.
Common areas where we experience the sensation of losing ourselves are; in romantic relationships, after divorce, working far more or far less than normal, when raising children or becoming an empty-nester, the death of a parent, spouse or beloved pet, disease or the aging changes of our body, and during retirement.
Whatever it is, something that you self-identified with has changed, shuffling up the normal rhythm of your life, and leaving you feeling a bit lost. Life the way you knew it, has changed which means you have changed.
But you are still in there. Even if it doesn’t feel familiar, you are in all of the pieces that show up, because you are those pieces. All expression that comes from you, is part of you. Your pieces have just moved around a bit.
We’re constantly redefining our who we are. That’s what life and growth and evolving is about. This is good. This is energy moving through and around us. This is us choosing new options and entertaining brave ideas. Trying on new hats.
And although there may be some discomfort and despair in these stages of life, the experience in itself is what awakens us back to full presence.
The very act of feeling un-you or lost shows you the frame of reference you once held of yourself and brings to your attention where you’re directing your life now and how you feel about that direction.
Having this information on the front burner allows you to reassess who you want to be and the way in which you’d like to demonstrate that.
Pick a hand, any hand, your spirit is saying to you. And all that you are becomes a spring-board for all that you can be. A place from which you can discover and demonstrate as much of yourself as you please.
Becoming a witness to our life experience like this can be exhilarating. Especially when we resurface into something completely unexpected; perhaps a newly discovered talent taking flight into career, or reconnecting with fervency around something that advances to leadership. All which becomes a valuable reminder that we cannot nor should not stamp ourselves with a singular identity.
There are openings we haven’t been privy to that are waiting for us to explore. There are parts of us that anxiously await with their wings a flutter. There is more of us available when we open our consciousness to possibility. Our soul is filled with insight and wisdom and gifts beyond our comprehension, and its curiosity to feel and share them is there for the taking.
Taking Inventory
It can sometimes feel like our personal journey is a constant process of losing and finding ourselves. It’s only when we stand still that we see there’s no losing or finding, but rather the act of how we’re moving with and adapting to the ebb and flow of life.
Look at it as an adjustment period. A time to reflect and re-evaluate. A time to courageously reclaim and rediscover more aspects of who you already are.
Use the time to take personal inventory. Sort out what you love versus what you are or have been tolerating. Keep what lights you up. Let go of what’s not working for you.
Give no energy to what falls in middle ground and it will come back to you, if intended.
Regaining Purpose
It’s natural to have pockets of time where we lose interest and our reason for being gets fuzzy, but staying stuck in it is emotional quicksand.
One thing that helps to reground and bring yourself home is regaining a sense of purpose. If the word purpose feels too heavy, replace it with joy or enthusiasm—anything that lights you up or raises your vibration. Our true nature shines when powered by purpose or excitement towards anything.
That being said, pulling yourself out of the quicksand is not an easy thing to do. Sometimes you have to really push yourself to get started.
Shift your focus away from why to what and move towards that. We could drown in the why’s all the live long day, but the what’s—they open our imagination, which ignites creativity and enthusiasm.
No need to reinvent the wheel, though, you can start to regain purpose by simply taking a look at the things you love. Whether it’s something you love doing or even something you admire from afar, reconnect with, or discover something, that lights you up. This will create something to look forward to and increase the positive anticipation in your life.
Once you’ve found your enthusiasm or purpose, move forward immediately. Start anywhere, however small. Look on Pinterest to get inspired, research online to compile ideas, put on gym clothes first thing in the morning to motivate a workout, or pull out a canvas to encourage painting.
Peel the first of the orange and hand it to your spirit, as a parent would a child. Begin by beginning. We can’t wait for breadcrumbs to show up, we must quite literally throw them ahead of ourselves and follow vision as its being created.
RoadMap to Regaining Purpose
1 – It’s natural to occasionally feel lost
2 – You never lose yourself, your pieces just move around
3 – Take Inventory; Sort out what you love, let go of what’s
not working
4 – Discover or reconnect with purpose & what lights
you up
5 – Start immediately, however small.
6 – Feel the enthusiasm of being you again.
