Fall is upon us, and it is the season of gatherings with family and friends and also a reminder of the practice of living in grace and forgiveness with those you love.
There is a power in forgiveness. We can all agree that the aspects of love, kindness, and compassion are all qualities that are respected, but the power and propulsion of forgiveness can be a game changer in our lives, especially during the holiday season.
Forgiveness is living in a state of grace, and we can be truly happy when we forgive people and events in our lives. Living in forgiveness is one of the most difficult spiritual lessons because it requires tremendous amounts of personal strength. It takes a lot of energy to hold onto hatred or disrespect for others, but when we live in forgiveness, we can live in the light of all of human consciousness.
It is important to understand the process of forgiveness. This is because forgiveness allows us to release old pain that will allow current issues in our lives to suddenly seem not seem so overwhelming. We allow old emotions to be released when we release our expectations both towards ourselves and the world around us through the process of forgiveness, which makes room for new and balanced energy. Giving, expanding, and balancing energy is important for our souls while we are here learning our spiritual lessons.
Forgiveness is also the foundation of almost all spiritual work and growth. If we are able to allow forgiveness to sit within our hearts, then great beauty and opportunity are within everyone each and every day of our lives. It is important to understand that forgiveness is not a process of giving something to another person who may not deserve it but is, instead, a process of turning our energy inward and using the power of love to examine our relationships within ourselves and others. When we are anchored in forgiveness, we are all within the spiritual realm of conscious awareness rather than in the realm of emotions or the mind. To become enlightened individuals, we must live in this realm of consciousness and awareness.
It is natural to release old energy because holding onto it hinders the flow of love into our lives and blocks our spiritual balance and peace, which in turn hampers the process of forgiveness. Love is the energy that gives and maintains life. Forgiving others, even those who don’t seem to deserve it, can bring life-giving energy into our bodies, hearts, and souls. Love is the incredible emotion that binds us to each other and helps us with so many important spiritual lessons.
The issues that seem to defy forgiveness are always about love—love that we never received, love offered but rejected or betrayed, or love used as manipulation or control. By tying up our spiritual energy reserves into old hurts, we are limiting the vibrational energy of love available in the present moment. Each morning or evening can be spent reviewing emotions or hurts from the day that we are carrying around, working through them, and letting them go from our spiritual light.
Forgiveness is one of the most challenging things in the human experience and can feel seemingly impossible in some cases. The Dalai Lama says irrespective of whatever attitude, people are still human beings and still deserve our compassion and our sense of concern, so try never to develop ill feelings towards another person. By developing anger and other challenging emotions, we lose our sense of compassion. There is great wisdom in forgiveness, and we should all strive towards those goals—forgiveness, compassion, and wisdom.
In the process of forgiveness, it is apparent that anger itself is not unwarranted or unhealthy, but hanging on to anger is. The act of forgiveness is not for the other person, though oftentimes times, what could have been an impassable rift between two beings is usually healed. The real importance comes in healing oneself, which allows not only greater peace and happiness in one’s own life but also ensures that the harm does not get passed on.
Forgiveness does not mean accepting the wrongdoing of another person. Nor does forgiving others mean we have to agree with their behavior in any way. It is important not to develop feelings of anger and hatred due to the wrong actions of others. Retaining feelings of anger and hatred towards others brings more harm than the act of forgiveness. This is part of the wisdom of forgiveness.
Forgiveness transforms anger and hurt into healing and peace. Forgiveness can help overcome feelings of depression, anxiety, and rage, as well as personal and relational conflicts. It is about making the conscious decision to let go of a struggle or wrong. Why would anyone want to forgive someone who has wronged them in the past? It is not about letting someone off the hook for wrongdoing, forgetting about the past, or forgetting about the pain. It certainly does not mean that we stick around for future maltreatment from a boss, a partner, a parent, or a friend. It is about setting ourselves free so we can move forward in our own life on our spiritual quest towards wisdom and enlightenment.
The problem for many of us is that sometimes we can choose to forgive another, but our anger or resentment still lingers in our hearts. However, it is, in fact, possible to forgive and truly let go of past disappointments, hurts, or blatant acts of abuse.
Although, at times, this may seem implausible, forgiveness is a teachable and learnable skill that can dramatically improve with practice over time. Considers positive emotions to be the key ingredients that bind us together in our humanity and allow us to forgive. These would be love, hope, joy, compassion, faith, and gratitude.
It may be confusing to differentiate between happiness, inner peace, and forgiveness. If a person is asked what they want in life, their answer is usually “to be happy.” Far fewer people respond that they want inner peace or forgiveness. These two states of mind are certainly closely related, and yet they are different and independent.
Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”
When we’ve been hurt by someone, any or all of these thoughts can plague us. We’re filled with and tormented by anger, resentment, tension, despair, anguish, anxiety, and the desire for revenge. The very notion that we can move forward seems impossible to us, much less the concept that one day, we can forgive our offender.
However, withholding forgiveness may doom us to a life we do not wish to lead. Continuing to be angered about the pain we’ve endured can damage our physical, emotional, and mental health, negatively impact our present and future relationships, and impair our productivity at our jobs. In other words, by refusing to forgive, we can harm ourselves a great deal more than we ever could the person who hurt us.
The Greek root of the word forgiveness means “to set free.” We should strive to be set free from vindictive thoughts, burning fury, energy-sapping depression, festering resentment, and frantic anxiety. Forgiveness can be a path to freedom when these negative emotions are released.
Forgiveness isn’t likely to happen overnight. Rather, forgiveness is usually a gradual process. We needn’t
expect to quickly or suddenly have our pain erased or our attitude about our offender change. If our expectations about forgiveness are realistic, we can notice the progress we’ve made thus far and not judge ourselves if the act of forgiveness is a bumpy road with some U-turns.
Forgiveness is primarily for ourselves. It’s one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. Forgive everybody, as without forgiveness, the center of our spirit is handicapped. If we work on the path to forgiveness, we can progress in our spiritual growth.
If we don’t practice forgiveness, we might just be the ones who pay most dearly. By offering forgiveness, we also bring upon ourselves blessings for peace, hope, gratitude, and even joy. Forgiveness is a path that leads us to physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
Forgiveness is one of the most challenging things in the human experience. The wisdom in forgiveness is indeed a powerful force for all who walk this Earth.
photo by Richard Brutyo
